Need to Vent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - No need to comment

MEN - I SO HATE THEM ALL RIGHT NOW

Men can be insensitive and I think I've found the one and only man who is takes the cake. I am just so over it right now and am wondering if I just disappeared would any one even notice or care!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As you might be able to tell, Brad and I had a huge fight tonight and right now if I never spoke with him again I don't think it would worry me too much (don't me wrong I do love him and would be lost without him, I'm just angry right now). He would have to be the most self-centred, self righteous, pig headed man I have ever met, even worse than my ex Jason who always use to sponge of me. Whilst typing this he has even tried to interrupt me and continue where we left off. God can't he live me alone for 30 minutes, doesn't he know when to quit and enough is enough. If I've walked away from the fight then just drop it....

Our fight was about many things, some of the little and trivial but it was mainly about money. Even since I left working for the Bank, all we seem to do is fight over money or lack of it. We are trying to set up a business, working for one of my ex clients and it isn't going to plan. I feel like we are being stuffed around and I'm so ready to explode. Why is it always up to me to fix things and get things organised, can't he do things for himself/by himself?????

I haven't been sleeping well (waking every hour) and I feel like I haven't had any sleep this week at all. I hate being stressed especially over money. I hate feeling like we are always at each others throats, me supporting our life style and that I'm no fun to be around.... Needless to stay this business is not bringing in any money at the moment and we are living off savings. Savings don't last for ever and they are quickly being spend, especially seeing we do have a mortgage as well. I'm so glad that I put some money away in a high interest account for my trip.... Some might say that I'm mad going overseas during this hard time, and putting so much financial pressure on myself by leaving a secure job to start my own when I have a mortgage. What you don't understand is that I felt like I was drowning in this job, the finance industry is such a demanding industry, from both clients management, they just don't care if they break you or not. The more you give them the more they want. I was so unhappy with my job that it was starting to affect my health and I was finding myself getting more and more depressed. I've been there done that and don't want to ever go back into that deep dark depressed world. The only thing to do was to get out......

I'm also so over my good for nothing eldest brother who I don't speak to any more. I don't speak with him because he did not even visit our dying father in the nursing home, the whole 53 weeks he was there. Whilst his brother lives in Wollongong he does work in Sydney and has to drive within 5 minutes of where my father lived. Also this good for nothing brother is now holding up the estate being finalised, as he has not provided Dad's solicitor the information they need to lodge the estate's tax return and then distribute the estate. Whilst he might not need the money, I most certainly do. I'm sick of leaving messages, emails etc for him to provide the information. As from today I've told the solicitor to contact him directly, maybe they might have more luck. There is no love loss with this brother and it wouldn't worry me if I never spoke to him again. I haven't spoken to him since Dad's funeral in January. I think my brother Paul has only had a few text messages asking him how he was going following his heart attack and hasn't heard from him since March.

Its been raining all day and that's also annoying me. Its still raining now and that keeps me awake.....

There really is not need for any comments on this entry, all I am trying to do is get things off my chest so I can try and sleep in this rainy weather..... At the end of the day things will be OK with Brad and the business, we are just going through a rough patch. But then again it feels like we are always going through a rough patch.

I've calmed down a bit now and things don't seem so bad as they did when I was lying in bed trying to relax and go to sleep.

Carlton