I'm back home and feel like crap. I woke up last Wednesday morning with a cold and nearly lost my voice last Thursday. Its not getting any better.
Today was spend, picking up the cats from the vets, doing the shopping and sleeping. I'm so tired, all I want to do is sleep.
Whilst my time interstate was sad and lots of tears where shed, I'm so glad I went. The funeral was really sad, I still can't believe my brother is gone. Whilst we will never know why he did what he did, I did get some answers to why they think he killed himself. I feel so sorry for my sister in law who now has to bring up the kids by herself, find a new house to live in (business has been sold and settlement is 4 weeks away), move and settle into life without my brother. They were married for 19 1/2 years and have been together since they were 19 years old. There is so much for her to do within the next 4 weeks.
I so hate being sick and feeling like crap. I was going to go for a walk today, as its fairly sunny in Sydney but because I'm feeling crappy that didn't happen.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Feel like crap
Posted by Mel. at 5:07 PM
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3 comments:
It's understandable that you don't feel the best right now, everything would be getting you down. A 10 minute walk would help clear your head and make you feel better, anything is better than nothing, but if you feel like vegging on the couch right now, it's totally understandable.
Hope this week is a bit better for you. At least you have something to focus on with our 10 kilo challenge!
Talk soon,
Bri
Thanks Bri. Yes it is time to get focused on the 10 kilo challenge. I had a good chat to exbf's mother tonight and she can't understand what's going on with him and why we split. It was good to talk to her anyway as they are like my family.
I think that alot of the time when people commit suicide they have lost the ability to think clearly. They no longer see a way out or see that there may be viable options and support. This is why I wish more people would seek counselling in our society. In the
U.S its totally normal for people to have a counsellor/therapist and it needs to get that way here too. I think it would reduce the suicide rate if people sought counselling much earlier on in circumstances, and I think its really healthy for people to have a non-biased person who is not part of your family, work or circle of friends to talk things over with.
I can't imagine how hard it was for you to be there. I remember when my dad was killed that I was amazed that the next day the sun still rose in the morning and the flowers were open and beautiful, and the leaves on the trees still....it just seemed so strange that the world could continue on as if nothing had happened. Oh yes, your sister in law, how hard it must be for her and for the two children. I hope they have alot of friends around to support them. We're here for you, and you will be ok. Sometimes life is such a shit, but its temporary and as long as you take baby steps towards the light, you will be ok.
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