Yes I went back to work today and found lots and lots of work to do. I haven't stressed about of the mess I found. The person they had doing my job wasn't experienced enough to coupe with my job and work load. Got back to 90 emails to read and quick a few deals to do and sort out. If I got stuck into the work it could be done in about 3 days but its not going to happen. I'm not prepared to stress about it. It will get done when it gets done, within a reasonable time of course. The good news is that I've gotten some help from one of the others managers,who also came back to work today. I have known this guy for about 8 years and we have been though lots of ups and downs together at work. One of the other Managers has come back from 7 weeks stress leave today and is not going back to his job, so my manager has decided that he can help me get on top of my work load which is good. I will deal with the phone and he can help me sort out the crap of my job. This is good because as at next Monday I need to train another people to do the same job as me (I've been covering both jobs on and off for the past 7 months. More on and off). That will help relieve some of the work pressure. We are both getting a new assistant and they will also need to be trained as well, so I'll get to do that too. Don't you just love it. Lucky they halved the number of clients I look after a few months ago, otherwise I couldn't cope with it all.
My colleague and I had a great chat today about life, putting ourselves first in life, our therapist, depression, medication etc. It was so good to chat to someone that can really relate to our problems and know what the other one is going through. I sense it will make us closer work colleagues. He is also helping me see that there is no need for me to be embarrassed about being diagnoed with depression and that it is a normal reaction to life. I've learnt so much about myself and how I feel about myself etc today. It has been a great learning experience. It made me think so much about how I act to things, how I think about myself and things going in my life. Its like I'm not alone in all of this, one of my colleagues/friends is going through it as well. In a bizarre way its comforting to know this. I'm beginning to feel at peace with my condition at last and feel that I can coupe with anything that's thrown my way and can get over this and feel normal again.
I'm still a little shocked that I opened up so much today about my depression and life as I don't tend to open up to, too many people. Its easy to open up here as its not like opening up to people but that I'm just voicing my concerns, ideas and interests on a piece of paper. It still spins me out some times that there are people out there that want to read this and care enough about me to even post a reply. I thank you all for kind words and support. It has helped me a lot especially during the past few months.
I went to JB and bought some motivational cd's & a DVD to listen/watch, either before I go to bed or when I wake up. This will help me relax more and make me a happier person.
Yesterday I started a no chocolate challenge in CK which will run for 6 weeks until 22/6/06. So far I have not had any chocolate and have stuck to the sureslim program today. This challenge is a day by day thing for me and will help me to cover come the cravings and be able to control chocolate. I DO NOT WANT TO BE CONTROLLED BY CHOCOLATE ANYMORE. If I can last the 6 weeks I will have broken the back of being controlled by Chocolate. I've done this with ice cream, so I know that I can do it with chocolate.
Today's Compliments
1. Congratulations to me for not having chocolate today.
2. Congratulations to me for sticking to my sureslim program today.
3. Good on me for letting my colleague into my world and opening up to him.
4. I am feeling great about me and my life today.
5. Good on me for doing some exercise today.
Today was a good day.
Carlton
Never pay for the same kilo twice.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Back to Work Today
Posted by Mel. at 7:18 PM
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4 comments:
Dearest Carlton...I know life is not easy for you and I am so in awe of how amazing you are. Your spirit comes through in your writng, and it is strong and deep and resourceful. You have a good attitude to your work, and the challenges that are there and you have that well in hand. As for the no chcoclate challenge in CK, I didn;t see that one, but there is no way I could join that. Chocolate is a part of my life and it is not to blame for my recent weight gain, that's a whole other thing. I would quit chocolate but I am just not a quitter LOL ....I have that on my fridge :) And by the way....great going on your daily compliments, they are fabulous and they inspire me as well. Thanks for sharing xx
Thanks Suzie. You made me think of something one of my clients said to me today "Why to bad things happen to good people you". I did thank him and replied that it will only make me a stronger person. It so made my day when he said those words to me.
My therapist would say to you that inside of me is this great vibrant person who is the life of the party. I just have to let them out and now that is the hard part.
No problem you not joining the chocolate challenge its not for everyone but thank you for thinking about it anyway.
What a great post Carlton ! It sounds as though you are really getting things under control in your life. Your colleague is right - depression is a type of illness which needs to be treated just like the flu or chicken pox or mumps. I think you are doing an amzing job and your compliments each day inspire me to think of something good about myself.
Have a great day and as you say, take it one day at a time and you'll get there.
Lotsa hugs to you !
Me
I'm going pretty well without chocolate. I try not to think about it or have it around me.
Thanks my cats to help but my depression runs pretty deep and my therapist, online friends and now exbf helps heaps.
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