Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr my life the past week.

Work is just grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr at the moment. so much pressure coming from the boss about finding new lending deals its not funny......... As my assistant is on leave and the other manager has had to take leave (both her parents are sick), he expects me to do it all plus go out and find new business........................... To make is worse I am so over this job. I want and need a change......................... The boss is great but has so been on my back the past few weeks, what am an a bloody miracle worker......... With doing 3 jobs again, when do I have the time to find new business........................
Sorry for the whinge but this is just one of the many things going around in my mind at the moment. I do have a job interview on Monday afternoon and because I'm so busy at work, have to prepare for it, including the 15 min presentation I need to do as part of it at home. The interview is expected to go for 90 mins. I so hope I get this job, its a job I have always wanted to do but have either never had the confidence to apply for it or enough experience to do it.

My love life is also grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr exbf still wants to get back together but from what I am seeing it's only for 2 reasons, he wants the sex and in his adult life he has never been single and doesn't like the feeling of being single. For me that's not good enough reasons. I have told him all I am offering is my friendship and see where that takes us. We spoke the other night for a 90 mins regarding life and our relationship and I'm still only prepared to give him friendship. He is coming to Sydney in a few weeks time and it will be the first time I will have seen him since we split up. It will be an interesting but hard time, especially with all of the feelings I still have for him and the sex with him was fantastic. I do miss it but am not prepared to settle for 2nd best. I need to be strong with my decisions about our relationship and not cave in and have sex.

In the meantime last week I met a guy on line who wants to do the friends with benefits thing. Normally I wouldn't do that but he is so cute and its been a while I actually thought about it. We have been emailling each other and things go rather heated. He so wants to met me but the more things go on the more I'm not keen to do the friends with benefits. I think I better be honest with him and tell him this. I also have a few other men wanting to get to know me as well.

When I spoke with exbf the other night I was honest with him and told him about these other guys interested in seeing me etc. I wasn't sure how he would take it and seemed to take things rather well. He even told me to go and have some fun with them but that's not me.

I was so hoping that blogging this would help but not sure that it has. It has given me even more to think about. I'm not enjoying my life at the moment.

Carlton
Take one step at a time.