Update

Hi everyone I'm back from my trip to Grenfell. Sorry I didn't post whilst I was away but wireless broadband was way too slow at exbf's parents place.

Time away was mostly good and whilst it rained a lot we did have lots of time to talk etc. It is really weird being around him cause some times it feels the past 2 years haven't occurred and that we have been together all along and other times, its really weird to have him around. It was good to spend some time together and have lots of close moments.

We had such a great time together and really opened up to each other, that we are even talking about seeing how things go and getting back together. We have both agreed to take things slowly and see what happens.

Leaving him in Grenfell was hard. I so didn't want to leave him. We were talking and mucking around a little in the bedroom before I left and I was in tears. It hurt so much to leave. We didn't eventually talk about this and my fear of us drifting apart and never seeing each other. I am also fearful that I get to see less of him now than I did before (long story there). I was pleased with his response of "well see what we can do about that".

Honestly I'm not really sure about getting back together, because I do not want to be hurt again and have my heart broken. I'm in two minds about everything. I love being with him and we did have a great long weekend together but I fear being hurt and used again. I think I should talk to him about this and take a risk of being a little vunerable.

I'm not sure his parents want to see us get back together, as they love having him home and all to themselves. I feel a little uncomfortable going to there place and ring him there, as I feel that I am always being watched and judged. Don't get me wrong they are lovely people and we get along really well but I just don't feel really comfortable around them. Might just be me and might be the emotional roll a coaster my life is at the moment.

Carlton