Life at the moment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life, what can I say. Sorry for not posting for a while, however, I've had visitors and friends over for dinner etc during the past week and have been very busy.

I tried to upload a picture for this blog but am having trouble doing so and will have to go ahead without one.

Not sure how to begin this blog and this is going to be a long one, as so much has happened during the past week. I am enjoying my time off work and feel so relaxed and carefree at the moment.

Exbf was in Sydney for a few days and we spend some time together. Exbf and I had a few really long, deep & meaningful discussions over the weekend, mainly about life, our relationship and how things are going for him now he is living back with his parents. After much discussion we have decided to give our relationship another go. We actually sat down and discussed what we both want out of the relationship and have decided as a starting point, the following:-

1. Take things slowly.
2. To try and recreate what we had when we first of all got together.
3. Communication is very important.
4. Try not to control or put too much pressure on the other person.
5. Be exclusive.
6. Have fun together and enjoy the time we have together.
7. As he now lives 400 kms away we will try to see each other every 2nd weekend. Financially we both can't afford every weekend.
8. Give each other some space and share the STD phone calls.
9. I do not want to feel used and taken for granted.

These are in no particular order and may sound a little over the top but we need guidelines in this relationship. We tried it for 4 years without guidelines and not discussing what we both wanted or needed out of the relationship and it didn't work out. I need to feel secure in my decision to give the relationship another go, especially with him being 400 kms away and learning to trust him again.

We had a few hick ups over the weekend but were adult enough to talk about them and sort them out. Overall the weekend was a good one, not everything we planned to do happen but we spent a lot of time talking about things and seeing what we can do to make the relationship work. We had some good progress.

The house was very quiet and lonely when he left today. This morning we were going to go for a walk but by the time we got organized it started to rain and hasn't really stopped since. Needless to say we didn't go for the walk as I don't walk in the rain and we only had 1 small umbrella.

It's a little strange referring exbf to bf again but I'm sure I'll get use to it. It was only on Thursday night that I was discussing the relationship with my therapist and was telling her that we were taking about trying again but I was very causious about this and we needed to talk about it in some detail. I also said that I was comfortable in being single again but missed the company of him. Don't get me wrong we haven't gotten back together because we miss each other company, we generally want to be together etc.

Bf took the last of his stuff with him today and it is very strange not having his stuff here, as it has been here for 3 years. With all of bf's stuff gone from my house, this afternoon was a good time for me to reorganize my house.

I started in the kitchen and also decided to reorganize the benchers. I then started in the spare room and got out all of the boxes I have in the cupboard and through out all of the papers I had just stuffed in them. It felt so good to get these out of the house. I even went so far as to take all of the lace curtains down and wash them. As it was raining, I had to put them in the warm cycle in the dryer and I can't believe how white they actually are. I can't remember when they were last washed and bf actually thought they were a tan colour. That comment makes me feel what a bad house keeper I am. I even decided to wash all of the windows, inside only and would love to wash the outside ones but as I live in a townhouse it's not possible under water restrictions.

During my clean up I found a cross stitch I started about 4 years ago of my cat Teddy and never finished it. I even managed to spend a few hours tonight doing it.

Eating over the past week has been a little up and own but I have tried to make healthier choices. ItÂ’s so hard when you have people staying or over for dinner. Weigh in this week will be interesting. Dinner last night was relatively healthly choice. I cooked scotch fillet steaks, beans, carrots, onion, capscium & mushrooms and 3 cheese potato bake. The bad food was a toblerone cheescake. I did make sure that bf took some home today and my dad with get the remainder when I go over tomorrow to see him.

I am so enjoying my time at home and can't remember the last time I had holidays and didn't go way. It actually feels good and something I really needed. I feel very happy with myself today and had a great day cleaning and uncluttering my home.

Whilst I'm on this roll, my bedroom is on my list for tomorrow. It is looking so cluttered and messy at the moment. The Virgo is coming out in me despite bf trying to take the credit for all of my cleaning. His comment tonight was that he should come and stay more often if I'm going to spend the day spring cleaning when he leaves.

I must admit that I do hate and I mean hate cleaning but when I do it, I do it well and spend hours doing it.

Well I better go and try to get some sleep, I don't sleep well when its raining and its still raining pretty hard right now.

Carlton
Never pay for the same kilo twice.