Ok its been a while since I've posted a weight loss message. I must admit that I need to be honest with you all and tell you the past 2 weeks I've been struggling and wasn't really sure why. I'm home sick today, my sinus are a little infected and I think I'm coming down with a cold. I was watching Oprah today, which just happened to be a weight loss show with Bob Green and his The Best Life Diet. This show was a real light bulb moment for me and I want to admit that I have been struggling to lose weight for the past 10 years and not proud of that. During this time my highest weight has been nearly 118 kilos or 260 pounds and the smallest I've been is 80 kilos or 176 pounds. My goal weight range is between 66 kilos to 55 kilos. I'm currently 108 kilos 237 pounds and not happy about that.
One of the things on the show that really hit me is how important exercise is with weight loss. I've known this before but Oprah put it is way, if you don't want to exercise then you don't want to lose weight. Yes I hate exercise and find it really hard to find the time to do it. Again if I'm honest with myself and you all it means that I don't really want to lose weight, yes honestly if there was a magic pill to get rid of this excess weight, then I'd be taking it. I can honestly say right now that my whole life is rather over welming for lots of reasons I don't want to go into now but I can say that I need to lose weight, I'd love to lose weight but do I really want to do what it takes to lose weight, well not sure..... actually honestly its more a not really or a no.
I need to take one step back from losing weight and work on myself for a little while. Before I can lose weight I need to be able to answer the following questions:-
1. Why am I overweight, really? This is not just that I eat the wrong foods and don't exercise, why do I do this to myself? What am I hiding from?
2. Why do I want to lose weight and what am I prepared to do to lose weight?
3. What am I going to do to reclaim my life?
At this point in time I can't really honestly answer these, so I'm going to work on these. I also need to stop lying to myself about my weight and what I am going to do about it.
Bob Green has a weight loss website called www.thebestlife.com and I found the following extract on it, which I thought I'd share with you all:-
"Excerpt from The Best Life Diet - by Oprah Winfrey
Another thing I know for sure now is that you’ve got to ask yourself, What kind of life do you want and how close are you to living it? You cannot ever live the life of your dreams without coming face to face with the truth. Every unwanted pound creates another layer of lies. It’s only when you peel back those layers that you will be set free: Free to work out, free to eat responsibly, free to live the life you want and deserve to live. Tell the truth and you’ll learn to eat to satisfy your physical hunger and stop burying your hopes and dreams beneath layers of fat."
Can you honestly answer this questions and are you treating yourself how you deserve to be treated. My answer to that is no.
Basically I know what I need to do to lose weight but that isn't working for me at the moment, cause I'm not doing it. Before I can move forward I need to work out why I am overweight and move down the list from there. This is really scarey stuff and I think its going to be a long and difficult journey but one I must do.
At this stage I'm not really going to follow any particular eating plan but I am going to continue to fill in my CK food diary. My main focus is myself, my thoughts, my feelings and learning to accept me and love myself and only then can I work seriously on my weight.
Carlton
Take One Step at a Time.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Light Bulb Moment today
Posted by Mel. at 2:03 PM
Labels: Weight Loss Journey
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5 comments:
Ohhh Carlton..i was laying on the couch watching that show too!!! Mind you i had been out walking for an hour and a quarter before hand and was stuffed thinking "why am I doing this to myself" Then started watching Oprah...I know what ya mean ...
i didnt sit glued to it but caught most of the goings on...
But I did hear the bit... "you have to stop lying to yourself"
And that is a huuuuuuuuuge part of it....
We all know what we have to do and that it is hard work to achieve it...
;o)
So come on Carlton.. get well within yourself and start moving.. a little at a time...
10 min sessions even every other day is better than nothing ;o)
Hey Sweetie
I too saw this Oprah episode today and realised that I had only been kidding myself because I wasnt committing 100% of myself to what I wanted.
I havent been treating myself well for the last 8 months but punishing myself for falling pregnant and saying yes to moving for my husbands job which meant leaving a part of me behind. The part of me that I had worked so hard to get to - awesome, well paid job, I got down to 77kg pre-pregnancy, a beautiful home that we own, a wonderful marriage and friends and family that I adore.
I need to make the most of the situation that I am in. I have a beautiful little girl who needs her mummy to be happy so that she is a good mum. I need to be happy to be a good wife as my husband doesnt deserve the way that I have treated him lately.
Anytime you need to talk to clear your mind and get some other perspective on whats happening please dont hesitate to let me know. I really dont mind and I know that talking to another person can make things alot clearer.
Hugs and flutters
Kim and Erynn
Thanks Kim and WBS for your thoughts and words. Despite being sick, I was going to go to work but couldn't get out of bed. I think something was telling me to stay home cause I would learn something today.
What a fantastic post! Carlton, you and I are like peas in a pod! I think Oprah is awesome, and I have read the book she wrote with Bob Greene, and found it very helpful. Oprah is also "keeping it real" though. I remember her talking about plataues one day... she simply said, that a plataue is when your body has adjusted to your excercise and diet, and you are no longer losing weight because of this. She said "You know what the solution is people? I know you don't want to hear this, but you have to work out HARDER and FASTER than ever before!!" I remember thinking... Fuck, that just sounds too hard to me!
Are we fat because losing wieght is just too damned hard? Can it be that simple???
Hi Carlton, thankyou for visiting my blog yesterday.
Wow what a great post and definately opens up our minds to why we are overweight. You have some work ahead of you but have set out a good path ahead to work ok.
I went through severe depression when my husband and I broke up and for a period of 6mths after we got back together. I never considered myself a comfort eater but I certainly became one during that time. I remember verbally saying to myself "I feel so yucky, chips will make me feel better" Aparently this is scientifically proven that the same hormone put out when eating is the same one when we laugh, hence the connection. But I sat down one day and thought "where is this getting me? I'm no happier after eating the last 9mths away. I need to change this ... for me, not for my husband or anyone else ... for me!!" And I think weightloss needs to be about ourselves and it's definatly headwork, not bodywork. I've always said it's 99% headwork and 1% body, get the head in the right place and the body will follow.
Well done on your lightbulb moment and I'll be back to support you along the way ;)
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