My Dad

This is a picture of my dad taken in Qld in September 2006 when we went to visit my sister in law.

Dad is currently in remission with non Hopkins lymphoma and has been for about 2 years now. We've noticed the past few weeks his health is deteriorating, his is not eating properly, has trouble getting out of chairs, walking and talking. His talking is getting to the point that even I'm having problems understanding him.

I got some bad news from my brother tonight saying that dad thinks the cancer has come back. I know I shouldn't jump to conclusions until we get some test results, but he has been unwell for a few weeks now and will not let us take him to the doctors or hospital. Yes he is sick but I am hoping it is something can be treated and nothing to serious.

This time last year we nearly lost him with blocked bile ducts in his liver and I'm hoping it is something like that. His biggest problem is that he will only drink fluids when someone is around to fill his glass and that only happens during the day when my brother comes home for lunch.

Dad spend most of today in bed today and has hardly eatten anything. I could tell my brother was very upset when he rang me, you could also tell he was shaking during the phone call and nearly in tears.

My brother and I are going to take him to get tests done tomorrow but I am so upset, worried and concerned about losing him. I know he has been depressed since mum died nearly 14 months ago now and I think when he got sick last year he nearly willed himself to go but didn't in the end cause we needed him. Well we still need him. My relationship with him hasn't been the best over the years but I still need him.

I am so worried, as is my brother. Not sure I'm going to sleep tonight.

Sorry if this sounds all over the place, but my head is all over the place and I'm in tears as I'm typing this.

Carlton
Take One Step at a Time.