Not sure what my body is doing at the moment!!!!

Yep that's right, I'm not sure what my body is doing right now. Its TTOM again and normally I wouldn't be all that concerned with it but its only been 2 and 1/2 weeks since I last got them (5/12/2008). They were pretty light last time only lasting about 4 days and even then I think they came earlier than I was expecting. I know Brad made a comment of "Oh not again".....

Normally I get them exactly every 28 days and they last for 5 days...


Just not sure what to make of this.... Am I worrying about nothing....

I think I might go back on the pill and see if that gets them back to being regular. Yes we do use condoms as I don't want any unexpected babies in this house...

I was hoping for another good loss this week, under the new Weight Watchers program but not sure that will happen now, due to fluid re-tension and TTOM...


Just needed to get this off my chest... Yes us woman are blessed aren't we....

Busy preparing for Christmas

I've been meaning to post an update for the past few days, however I have been busy preparing for Christmas day. Mind you there is only 3 of us, Brad, my Brother Paul and myself. I decided as part of my brothers Christmas present this year I would do some baking. He is getting half of each slice, with the other half remaining at home. He may or may not eat it all, however, he can always take it to work and his work mates will eat it.

Right and above is White Christmas slice

They are not all low fat slices, however I did cut them up into smaller pieces i.e. if the recipe says it makes 12, I cut it up to 24 pieces. I have also worked out the points for each slice so if I do have some I can work them into my daily points.



Left is a Muesli Slice







Below is Bailey's Rocky Road Fudge




Right is Christmas Brownies






We have also just cooked/are cooking a stuffed chicken, leg of lamb, piece of pork. We will also have some leg ham, as I have half a ham, green salad, coleslaw (low fat) and a weight watchers potato salad. Dessert will consist of either some fruit salad or I have small individual Christmas puddings with low fat custard. I have already planned my menu for the day and whilst I will go over my 22 points by about 8, I have been saving some points already this week and will have plenty spare for the day.

Needless to say there will be plenty of left overs for dinner and the days to come. Good thing is that I can leave some of it at my brothers place for him to eat as well... Christmas day will be spent at my brothers and depending on how much we have to drink, we will be spending the night too. Yes I have planned to have either a bottle of Pink (low joule one) sparkling wine, which is 3.5 points for the whole bottle or 4 free vodka cruises which are 1 point each during the day and night...

I can't believe how organised I am this year and that Christmas is only days away.

All I have to do is go grocery shopping tomorrow to buy the fruit and vegetables for the salads and buy the cats Christmas presents..

Oh and I must mention that I managed to lose 2.5 kilos last week after the very huge gain the week before. Pretty happy about that..

Job hunting is over!!!!!!!

Yes that's right, my job hunting is finally over and I'm very happy with the result.

The 2nd job has been approved and I have formally been offered a new job, which i have accepted.

I start working for St George Bank on 5 January 2009.

Its pretty funny that I will be working in the same building as when I worked for Westpac, in fact it is one floor below where I worked. What is also pretty funny is that Westpac has recently purchased the St George Bank and the first Bank I worked for Advanced Bank was purchased by St George in the 90's. Due to all the mergers/buy outs, it works out that I will have worked for the Westpac group since I was 17.

Update and Stuff

I didn't end up going to the gym yesterday thanks to my computer. To cut a long story short, I ended up having a bad file on my computer on Sunday night, mind you it didn't happen until 11.30 p.m. and I had to reload all the software, Internet, virus protectors, printers, favourites etc. I ended up going to bed at 1.30 p.m. and was up again at 3 a.m. cause Brad wasn't well and I wanted to get his Internet discs before he went to work. Well because he wasn't well he didn't go to work and we spend 3 hours trying to find his discs, loading them and then loading all the other stuff i needed on the computer. I went back to bed just after 6 a.m. In the end I ended up going Christmas present shopping instead. I now only have 1/2 a present to buy and I think I'm going to get that on Saturday.

An update on the job front is that they expect to have the 2nd job approved this week and then will decide on who gets which job. So you could say the wait continues.

I ended up going to the gym again today and whilst I feel pretty tired right now, I also feel fantastic and happy with my week so far.

Job Update

Sorry I didn't have a chance to update yesterday about the job..

I got a phone call from the company yesterday to advise me that the Senior Manager is having trouble deciding who to give the job to, its either myself or another person. Apparently they want both of us and they decided that they could do with both of us so they are going to see if they can get another new job approved. This approval could take another few weeks and unless they can decide in the mean time who gets the vacant job and who has to wait for the newly created job, we will both have to wait.

Its not an ideal situation and the only negative part is if the 2nd job doesn't get approved but I have confidence that it will. Its just going to take some time. Fingers crossed, positive thinking etc are all being said and done on my end.

Whilst I do really really want this job and work in this office, I am still looking to see what else is around, but sadly at this time of year there isn't much...

I have not give up on this job by any means and so hope that I get it...

Stuff update

I had my final interview for the job that I want yesterday morning and I think it went well. I was a little nervous before hand which surprised me cause I wasn't nervous for any of the other interviews. I think I was nervous because I so want this job and this was the final interview and it was make it or break it time. They are making their decision by today on who they will offer the role to so hopefully I get it and find out sooner rather than later. At the moment I have mixed feelings if I did enough to be offered the role or not and not feeling all that confident that I will be offered it.

Brad had the day off work yesterday because he had a migraine but mind you it didn't stop him from wanting to go Christmas shopping with me. He has been working long hours for the past few weeks and combined with the heat, I think he just needed a break and some time to relax. So yes the Christmas shopping has been started, we still need to get a few layby's out and still need to find something for my brother Paul but that's it. Paul is the hardest person to buy for cause if you mention something that you might buy he will go out and buy it for himself....

I also put up some Christmas decorations yesterday, including our small tree and wrapped some presents to go under it. Below is a picture Brad took of our tree last night.


The tree isn't all that big but then again we don't have the room for a really big tree and I didn't want to pay a fortune for it. We like this one cause its got lights on the end of the branches that light up.

I also need to get my nails infilled today as they were starting to look tatty but instead of an infill I decided that I would treat myself to a new set. Below is a picture of my left hand after the new set has been put on,the length is a lot shorter than I would normally have them but then again they also cut my own nails underneath and now I have nothing to support the fake tips (this is why I get them fairly short when I get a new set.)



I know this update isn't all that exciting but I thought I'd blog it anyway... LOL...

Edit:- Its just before 4 p.m. in Sydney and still no word about the job and I am trying to stay positive (no news is good news) but its hard. The longer I have to wait the more I think I didn't get it. Its a shame cause I really really wanted this job, even the employment agency I went through thinks its a perfect match for me. Oh well I guess I just have to wait till they ring me and tell me either way....

Why don't I blog more????

I've had a few people ask me recently why don't I blog more often, after all I'm on the computer all day. Well many reasons really i.e.:-

1. My life is not that exciting really,
2. I do have to do some work.
3. I don't have a lot to say..
4. Did I mention my life is not that exciting?

I'm sure there are more reasons but I can't think of any right now.

Well apart form me not having a very exciting life, I do get lazy and can't be bothered blogging after being on the computer all day.

Hey this year I have blogged twice as much as 2007 and only about 14 more posts to beat 2006's total. I think its pretty good considering...

Update on my life

I can tell you that apart from my annual trip to Melbourne in March for the F1 Grand Prix, my brother and I are planning on going to Italy via London in September for 3 weeks and yes we are planning on attending the Italian F1 Grand Prix.

I got a phone call from my employment consultant today regarding the job that I have applied for. Apparently they were really impressed with me during the first interview and with my results from the Psychological testing, so I've been called back for a 2nd interview which is being held on Thursday at 8 a.m.

I'm glad the Psychological testing was positive as it means I haven't wasted 20+ years in the Banking industry. Mind you I did think the testing was pretty hard and came out thinking I'd blown my chances. I was also pretty brain dead when I came out as it lasted for 3 and a half hours. I so hope that I get this job, I do really really really want it and it pays well.... Fingers Crossed. I've been preparing myself with answers for questions they might ask, now I just have to think of some questions to ask them, so if you have any suggestions please feel free to leave them here. That is if anyone actually reads this stuff...

Oh and I have told Brad that I need to lose 2.5 kilos (yes I had a gain on Saturday which I didn't expect) to get to my next weight loss goal and that we are not having any take away until I do it. I want to get this goal out of the way in the month of December 2008.... He wasn't all that impressed but that's his problem... I will still have lunch with my brother on Sundays but I will make better choices. Must also do some exercise tomorrow. I might have to start recording my daily exercise on here so I'm accountable.

The joys of job hunting

I haven't been happy working where I am for a while and it doesn't help that these people have been stuffing us around, so I've decided to find another job. Working from home is great but I do miss working with other people and roaming around the shops at lunch time etc....

I've spend the past month or so thinking about this and what I want to do, do I want to go back to the Finance Industry, to I want a change and go into administration/office work. Well originally I decided I wanted a change and applied for a few jobs, however, I didn't get anywhere with these, not even a phone call, or feedback that I should stay in the finance industry. I even showed interest in a temp jobs doing, filing, photocopying, faxing or basic office work and whilst I realise I've got a lot of finance industry, you still have to do these things in this industry too, however I didn't even hear back from this agency.

So I decided to go back to the finance Industry. I had a interview last week for a Lenders position which was a very basic position but paying pretty good money, unfortunately I think I said a few things in the interview that went against me so I didn't get the position. Oh well I've learnt from that and will not make that mistake again.

I've been talking to another agency and they have a pretty good job going with a top 5 Bank and this position whilst not as senior as the one I last held, actually pays more than I was getting. Got to love that... Things are looking good for this job. I've already had the interview with the Agency and yesterday I had an interview with the Bank. I got pretty good feedback via the Agency today and tomorrow I'm going to the next stage of the Psychological test. This test can take up to 4 hours to do. It makes me laugh that I have done this kind of job before and I have had 22 years experience in the Finance Industry but I have to do these tests to see if I have the right personality to work in this industry. Well if it comes back as a negative I've wasted the past 22 years!!!!!!!

I do really want this job, its perfect for me, perfect location and good money... I'm feeling pretty happy about how this is progressing at the moment. If for some unknown reason I don't get the job, I will continue looking and have a few other options up my sleeve they are just not as good as this one or as good a fit for me. Even the Consultant at the agency said this to me....

One of the down falls about working from home and losing weight is that I can wear anything I like cause no one seems me and that none of my business clothes fit me anymore and are way too big. They so need to be replaced and money is tight right now. I have managed to fit into a suit that is a few years old, which is great and I did go and buy some new pants and a few new shirts. The good thing is that whilst the Finance industry is a business attire industry you don't have to wear suits to work everyday.... I don't want to have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe of clothes but I also realise that I do need to look like I fit into the business attire circle. What I have in my wardrobe will have to do for now and I'm sure that once I've been paid my first pay cheque I will get a few more pants or suits... I do have plenty of tops/shirts to wear. I do like the idea of wearing suits especially in Winter cause its easier when you visit clients and you look smart. However no point buying heaps of them cause I will be a smaller size in winter and I will have just wasted money.

The pair of pants I bought to wear to work are a size 16 (they do have elastic waist) and I'm currently wearing a size 20 top/shirt. Pretty happy with that. My suit is a size 18 pants (no elastic) and a 20 Jacket.... When I started this weight loss journey I was wearing a size 22 pants and a 24/26 top, depending on the top itself.

Test Results are in................

Breast screen rang this morning to tell me that my results were negative, yes that's right NEGATIVE..... Yay, I don't have breast cancer and that I didn't need to go and see them this afternoon. Breastscreen will now continue to monitor the size of the lumps via mammograms every 2 years and if they don't change in shape or size things will continue as normal. If they do change then another biopsy will be needed. I can live with that. Needless to say I can't remember the last time I was this happy.... I'm also happy cause I didn't have to drive the 45 min drive to RPA and find parking. They are going to post me a copy of the Dr's report and also send it to my GP so she has a copy of it as well.

I also wish to acknowledge Jenny my Breastscreen Nurse Counsellor who is an absolutely lovely and caring person. I was pretty upset when I walked into the Centre on Monday and she couldn't do enough for me. She also held my hand during the core biopsy. Whilst Jenny will never read this, I just want to thank her so much you made the whole journey so much easier....

Thanks everyone for your kind words and thoughts during this past week. I really do appreciate it.

Brad too the day off today to go to the appointment with me and was disappointed that he didn't get to see where RPA is. Mmmmm not sure about his thinking there. We ended up walking around a shopping centre buying stuff that we probably didn't need to... Oh well.

Its also my cat Zac's 7th birthday today and he is being spoilt.... I've had him since he was 6 months old and it doesn't seem like 6 1/2 years have gone past. Time fly's when your having fun I guess.

A plan is beginning to form with the help of my Dr....

I've started exercising again, yesterday we walked 2 and from the RSL and I even asked for no chips with my steak sandwich. I did have a few of Brad's but I did allocate points for them. If they had given me a whole serve I would have eaten them and I didn't have the points for them anyway. On the way home from my brothers Brad wanted fish and chips, which is fine. Normally I would have made bad choices at the fish and chip should however this time I made some good choices. Our fish and chip shop have a slimmers pack so I choose that. It is made up of BBQ fish, BBQ 4 prawns, BBQ 5 pieces of squid, some salad and either a bottle of water or soft drink. Its the first time I've actually tried it and it was so yummy and I was glad with my choice.

I had to go to see the Dr this morning as I needed to get some blood test done (check cholesterol, blood sugars, b12 etc). I actually like a Dr that will take the blood themselves instead of making you go to a pathology department. We also decided to test for food intolerance's and allergies.

You could say I'm getting the lot tested. Well I had a great old chat with the Dr and as I have a family history of Diabetes, heart problems, I'm overweight, high cholesterol, we are putting a whole health plan into place for me.

We spoke about:-
* the importance of exercise,
* eating a healthy diet,
* normal levels of cholesterol & then levels she wants me to be given my family history.
* diabetes (I already have pre-diabetes)
* arteries and how your cholesterol & weight affects how thin or thick your blood flows.
* seeing the Dietitian (another service of this medical centre)
* Low GI diets
* Focusing on measurements and not scales as much.
* what changes she wants me to make to my lifestyle

This is the first Dr I've ever been too that has taken an interest in me, my health and well being and wants to put a plan into place to help me get healthy and slimmer.

I also can't believe that I spend 50 mins with her. I've never spend so long in a Dr surgery before but I do love that she will spend the time with a patient and it doesn't matter how long it was. I was her first patient and she is booked solid today. She's now running late for the rest of the day lol.

I get some of the results back next week, the other the week after and I'm going to see the dietitian on Thursday Night. I want to see the dietitian to give me ideas of better food choices and options depending on the test results.

Our plan so far is:- *
For me to follow a low Gi Plan and cut out or at least down the surgery foods in my diet.
* For me to exercise 60 mins (can be broken down into small chunks) 5 times per week.
* For me to be very strict with my exercise and eating for at least 6 weeks (which will include Christmas I've just realise).
* For me to see the Dietitian for some ideas.
* For me not to weigh myself at home (put the scales away) and to focus on my waist measurements.

She wants it below 84 cm's and its 102 cm's today.

I'm actually feeling pretty good and excited about this right now. Some of the information we spoke about today I already knew but its great to be reminded about it and have a Dr interested in helping me with my battles.

Now I just have to speak with Brad about all of this when he comes home from work. We need to do this as a team and I need his support.



I bought the above t-shirt in Phuket and I love that it says "McShit" instead of McDonalds. The shirt is a little big for me now and makes me look bigger than I am in this photo.

Carlton

Pink Ribbon Day

Just a timely reminder in Pink Ribbon (October) month to take advantage of this fully government funded service for women.

...if you are over the age of 40 you can book in for a free mammo every two years, no GP referral needed.

Call BreastScreen in your state on 132050 to make your appointment.

Women under 40 need a referral to a diagnostic service as their breast tissue needs more workup and views because it is so dense...and for that you do need a referral...

After age 40 through to old age is the target age for cancer BUT especially between 50-69 the statistics say. Women with implants can also be screened, as well as those with a disability.


Today I went for my first ever mammogram and I survived it.. LOL...

The actual mammogram was a little uncomfortable but only for a few seconds when the pictures were being taken. Then again I am pretty large breasted which could also have something to do with it (an the fact I'm still pretty young i.e. 40 and my breasts could be a bit tender as well).

I actually surprised myself about how calm I was during the 30 mins I was in the room. I don't like how my body looks in clothes let alone naked (you are naked from the waist up) but I found that I didn't focus on it at all during the consultation.

Now I have to wait up to 2 weeks for the results...

Carlton

Health update...

I'm so over this coughing and blowing my nose.

I went to the doctors today, and she has told me that I actually have Acute bronchitis boarding on pneumonia. I have been given some medication and if this doesn't start to work in a couple of days then I have to go and have a chest x-ray and go back to see the doctor.

Once I'm better we are actually going to do some more blood tests to check my pre-diabetes and then put a care plan into place.

Its the first time I've been to this doctor and I came away feeling so much happier with here plan of attack than I ever did with my previous doctor.

Carlton.

I've got the flu

Thanks to Brad my lovely and adorable boyfriend I caught his flu on Thursday last week and have basically been in bed until today. I am so sick and tired of blowing my noise as I've gone though nearly 200 tissues since yesterday morning. Not joking..... I am so sick and tired of blowing my nose.

The are the flowers he brought home on Thursday night when he realised he has given me the flu. I seriously think he felt bad and was trying to score some brownie points. LOL...

I did get out of my sick bed today to go and have coffee with some lovely ladies I have been chatting to on the Weight Watchers Community Room and Chat room.. We all had such a great time and got along as if we had known each other for years. Funny think was that this was the first time I'd met people from online that I wasn't nervous about meeting. It was also so good to get out of the house for a while.

There are a few pictures of our get together on Facebook for those who are my friends there.

I've got an appointment to see the Dr on Monday, so I guess I just have to ride it out till then. I would have gone on Friday but I didn't think I was sick enough until it was too late and no appointments were left. Always the way...

We are also having a Sydney get together tomorrow, which I have to go as I'm picking up a couple of people who couldn't get there any other way. Just hope I don't infect everyone.

On the plus side of all of this, I did lose 600 grams at WI yesterday (I weighed at home instead of going to weight watchers and my scales are exactly the same as there's). I'm pretty happy with that considering I haven't done any exercise since Tuesday and we had Oporto's for dinner on Friday night. Yes I know its the day before WI but that's all I felt like. To be fair I did only have the hot chips and a chocolate mousse, however I did eat 3/4 of a jumbo chips (18 points for a whole jumbo chips) and a chocolate mousse was 8 1/2 points. Oh and its the last time I have this chocolate mousse. It was lovely and did melt in my mouth but was so not worth the points.

This week will be a better week..

Carlton

Grrrrr of all days it had to rain today......

Of all the days this week it has to rain today. I realise we need the rain but I so hate it, its annoying. I also hate walking in the rain and I've planned 1 maybe 2 hour walks today (the 2nd one depends on when my car is ready - today or tomorrow).

I've already been for an hours walk today. I had to drop my car off to the mechanic's to get the brakes done. Whilst I was there he talked me into getting my car serviced as well (its been a long time since its been serviced). Hope it doesn't cost me too much... Seeing there are doing the service as well fingers crossed it is ready this afternoon. If so I will go for another hour's walk to pick it up.

My mechanic did offer to give me a lift home but I declined. After all I need the exercise and had factored it into day... Also Brad could drive me back to the mechanic's to pick the car up but I need the exercise..

Sorry I haven't posted the past few days, haven't really had anything to share. Well best go and do some more work....

Edit 6 p.m.:- My car is all fixed and sounding a lot like it should. Cost me $950 but then again I was expecting it to cost a little more than that. Oh I also got a good talking to by my mechanic on how I should get it serviced a little more often... I know he is right, my car is only 4 years old and I don't want anything serious to go wrong with it.

On the good side is that I walked to and from the mechanic's today, so I got in 2 hours of walking. I was so happy when the sun appeared this afternoon and I could walk in the sunshine. I am within my points today so feeling happy with myself..


Carlton

Happy Birthday to me

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY

TO ME

(MIND YOU I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT

BEING 40 BUT NOTHING I

CAN DO ABOUT IT)


Carlton

How sweet.....

Following our fight last night, Brad gave me the following card. Yes the man can be sweet and lovely sometimes.

Oh and yes we have apologised to each other and things are better, even though he tried to restart the fight this morning before I went to WI. Mind you he also wanted me to stay home and have 4 hours of sex with him, unfortunately I had to decline this rather tempting offer, as I was meeting a friend for breakfast & coffee after weigh in. There are always another opportunities.........

Love and Adore You...

I heard the music when true love called,
a song sent from heaven on silver wings.
The whole world was dreaming,
wisps of light streaming,
as the stars spilled their magic upon you and me.

The tune was more lovely
than the nightingale's song,
more delicate than a rose weeping,
yet as powerful as the sun leaping
to shed golden ribbons in herald of dawn.

And I bow down before you,
the one my eyes have longed to behold,
my lonely heart pining,
love Light shining,
I swear that I shall love and adore you.

Carlton

Need to Vent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - No need to comment

MEN - I SO HATE THEM ALL RIGHT NOW

Men can be insensitive and I think I've found the one and only man who is takes the cake. I am just so over it right now and am wondering if I just disappeared would any one even notice or care!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As you might be able to tell, Brad and I had a huge fight tonight and right now if I never spoke with him again I don't think it would worry me too much (don't me wrong I do love him and would be lost without him, I'm just angry right now). He would have to be the most self-centred, self righteous, pig headed man I have ever met, even worse than my ex Jason who always use to sponge of me. Whilst typing this he has even tried to interrupt me and continue where we left off. God can't he live me alone for 30 minutes, doesn't he know when to quit and enough is enough. If I've walked away from the fight then just drop it....

Our fight was about many things, some of the little and trivial but it was mainly about money. Even since I left working for the Bank, all we seem to do is fight over money or lack of it. We are trying to set up a business, working for one of my ex clients and it isn't going to plan. I feel like we are being stuffed around and I'm so ready to explode. Why is it always up to me to fix things and get things organised, can't he do things for himself/by himself?????

I haven't been sleeping well (waking every hour) and I feel like I haven't had any sleep this week at all. I hate being stressed especially over money. I hate feeling like we are always at each others throats, me supporting our life style and that I'm no fun to be around.... Needless to stay this business is not bringing in any money at the moment and we are living off savings. Savings don't last for ever and they are quickly being spend, especially seeing we do have a mortgage as well. I'm so glad that I put some money away in a high interest account for my trip.... Some might say that I'm mad going overseas during this hard time, and putting so much financial pressure on myself by leaving a secure job to start my own when I have a mortgage. What you don't understand is that I felt like I was drowning in this job, the finance industry is such a demanding industry, from both clients management, they just don't care if they break you or not. The more you give them the more they want. I was so unhappy with my job that it was starting to affect my health and I was finding myself getting more and more depressed. I've been there done that and don't want to ever go back into that deep dark depressed world. The only thing to do was to get out......

I'm also so over my good for nothing eldest brother who I don't speak to any more. I don't speak with him because he did not even visit our dying father in the nursing home, the whole 53 weeks he was there. Whilst his brother lives in Wollongong he does work in Sydney and has to drive within 5 minutes of where my father lived. Also this good for nothing brother is now holding up the estate being finalised, as he has not provided Dad's solicitor the information they need to lodge the estate's tax return and then distribute the estate. Whilst he might not need the money, I most certainly do. I'm sick of leaving messages, emails etc for him to provide the information. As from today I've told the solicitor to contact him directly, maybe they might have more luck. There is no love loss with this brother and it wouldn't worry me if I never spoke to him again. I haven't spoken to him since Dad's funeral in January. I think my brother Paul has only had a few text messages asking him how he was going following his heart attack and hasn't heard from him since March.

Its been raining all day and that's also annoying me. Its still raining now and that keeps me awake.....

There really is not need for any comments on this entry, all I am trying to do is get things off my chest so I can try and sleep in this rainy weather..... At the end of the day things will be OK with Brad and the business, we are just going through a rough patch. But then again it feels like we are always going through a rough patch.

I've calmed down a bit now and things don't seem so bad as they did when I was lying in bed trying to relax and go to sleep.

Carlton

Daffodil Day - 22 August 2008

Cancer remains one of Australia's biggest health problems. With 1 in 2 men and 1 in 3 women diagnosed with cancer before the age of 85, the chances are you'll know someone who has had this terrible disease.

Funding research into cancer is one of the best ways we can work together to protect those we love, and that's exactly what the Cancer Council hopes to achieve with Daffodil Day, Friday 22^nd August 2008.

Below are pictures of my parents Pam and Stan.

As both my parents have had this terrible disease this cause is very close to my heart. To support their fundraising I purchased my Daffodil Day pen and today I bought a bunch of fresh Daffodils.

My dad survived non hodgkins lymphoma in 2003/2004 and then was diagnosed with Advanced Prostate and Bone Cancer in November 2006. He lost his battle in January 2008. Aged 75

My mum was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and lost her battle 8 months later in October 2005. My dad never got over this loss. Aged 71

RIP Mum and Dad - You are both together again and not in any more pain. You are sadly missed everyday...........

Carlton

25 Days till I go away & struggling with my weight....

OK by now anyone that reads my blog is probably sick of hearing about my planned trip away. We it's 25 days till I go away and I'm starting to wonder what I will take with me.

The good thing about going to Phuket is that I can get some clothes made for me and buy some bootleg stuff there too. I've decided that I am going to take with me 3 tops and 3 pairs of shorts and some swimmers. The rest will be bought there...

I already have one pair of swimmers which is a top & pants and I will wear a pair of board shorts with it. I think the top is still a little tight due to my stomach but bf thinks it looks OK. Pictures to the left is a pair of swimmers that I bought today and I will wear my board shorts with them too. Lucky the shorts and others swimmers are blue. (Oh and it's not me in this photo)..

I also admit defeat that I am not going to make my 95 kilo goal so I can go shopping. I am also struggling to get under 100 kilos at this rate, however I am determined to make it under 100 kilos before I go. I also want to look better in my swimming top (the one I already own).

During the past few days I've been struggling with my portion sizes and the whole concept of Core, so I've decided that after WI on Saturday I'm going back to points and I will not eat any junk food before I go away, including chocolate. If I go out for a meal I will make a healthy choice (which will happen as I go out for lunch every Sunday with my brother and my birthday is in 13 days time).

I have eaten well today which is a good start. Sorry for the ramble on but I had to get this off my chest.


Carlton

Planned Overseas Trip

For those who either don't know or can't remember, my brother and I are off to Phuket and Singapore in 4 weeks today.

We fly from Sydney to Singapore with Qantas for 1 night and then fly with Asia Air to Phuket for 8 days. These 8 days will include some shopping, sight seeing and relaxing. I'm also planning on getting some jeans and shorts made for me. At the moment I seem to be one size in the legs at the moment and another size around the waist. I so hate being an apple shape.

After Phuket we fly back to Singapore for 7 days. The main reason we are going to Singapore is to go to the first night Formula One Motor Race. We will also be spending some time sight seeing and taking things easy.

I so can't wait for this holiday. The past 4 years have been rather stressful for my family and it will be so good to get away for a while.

The stresses of my live over the past 4 years:-

1. Dad diagnosed with cancer - October 2004
2. My mum diagnosed with breast cancer - Feb 2005
3. My now exbf diagnosed with DVT - April 2005
4. My dad being rushed to hospital, gall bladder - June 2005
5. Me being diagnosed with depression and starting therapy - July 2005
6. My mum struggling with her cancer battle - June - September 2005
7. Mum losing her battle with cancer - October 2005
8. Dad being rushed to hospital and nearly died - December 2005
9. Nearly breaking up with darling bf - January & April 2006
10. Started looking after 2 portfolio's at work (300 clients) January 2006
11. Breaking up with bf - August 2006
12. Brother committed suicide - April 2006
13. Dad was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer and bone cancer - November 2006
14. Dad moved to a nursing home January 2007
15. Dad passed away January 2008 (53 weeks after being moved into the nursing home).
16. The day before Dad's Funeral, my brother had a heart attack. He has survived and turned his life around. He has given up smoking, lost 20 kilos and walks 2 x 30 mins every day. He is such an inspiration to me.
17. Decided that I could no longer work for the company that I did because of the increasing stress and demands, and I resigned in April and left in May 2008.

The one thing I have learnt during this time is that I am a rather strong person and that I can do and get through anything that life throws at me.



Carlton